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By Rose Martelli
Photograph by Katherine Bish

It is not at all surprising that the very first conversation of my life concerning American Girl dolls took place at the St. Louis Tea Room. How could such a subject not come up amidst all those lace curtains, stenciled wall trims, patterned linens, china plates and crystal water goblets?

What else are you going to discuss—the Middle East?

Formerly located in Kimmswick, where it was known as Grandma’s Parlor Ltd. and Tearoom, this quaint-as-a-doily spot moved into its current digs, a corner storefront in the Tower Grove South neighborhood, about a year ago. On Saturday afternoons especially, the place hums with the cooing and clacking of gaggles of girlfriends, multigenerational groups of female offspring and local chapters of the Red Hat Society. Welcome to the dollhouse.

Though there’s a roster containing more than 30 teas, tea blends and herbal infusions—a list worth exploring whether you’re a tea novice or junkie—the St. Louis Tea Room does not offer a traditional high tea service; rather, it operates more as a luncheon spot, with short lists of appetizers, soups, salads, sandwiches, entrees and desserts offered a la carte. The most significant nod to British tradition is the plate of scones (sweet, not savory) placed on the table at the start of every visit. The standard flavor is vanilla, topped with rainbow-colored sprinkles, and special varieties may include mocha nut or Dutch apple pie. They’re the perfect start to a meal here, crumbly yet fluffy, not too filling and accompanied by butter, a flavored cream spread and a lovely, delicate wine jelly with the translucent look of stained glass.

Perhaps the best way to describe the Tea Room’s cuisine is grandma-eclectic. Virtually everything on the menu (save, perhaps, the tortilla chips for the spinach dip and the lavosh served with a cheddar spread) is made on the premises, presented piping hot and priced in the single digits. (Any coupon-clipping nana would approve.) Little use is made of spices and seasoning, and a couple of items resemble a bit too closely back-of-a-soup-box recipes, such as that aforementioned spinach dip, which was badly in need of black pepper or even a few dashes of Tabasco.

Though “creamy” and “mild” best sum up the culinary mind-set of “Barb, our cook” (as she’s warmly referred to in the menu’s back copy), that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Whereas a chef more concerned with the cutting edge might amp up chicken salad with some rosemary, thyme, dill or even curry, Barb chooses to make hers memorable by studding it with candied almond slivers. Also witness
the pleasing, lumpy-thick cream of asparagus soup—or even better, the out-of-this-world sherried lobster bisque, a soup to shame the Soup Nazi. A simple, unfussy egg salad was given oomph in sandwich form thanks to crisp lettuce, fresh tomato and slices of marble rye. An entrée of brandied steak medallions was cooked perfectly, the cuts of beef pink and firm, treated to a smooth, light saucing. Sides of ambrosia and potato salad both achieved a remarkable, mousse-like texture.

Desserts are as good as you’d expect them to be, though there’s no need to order anything other than the buttermilk pie or the “chocolate, very chocolate cake.” From scones to nuts, an afternoon repast here is actually much more filling than you might expect. Luckily, tea is reportedly helpful in aiding digestion.